just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize