your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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