i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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