my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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