i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
