my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
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I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
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I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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