Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
