my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
