I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
