for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
