I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
