At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
