would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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