if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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