I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
