i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
false alarm, still single
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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