Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
