I can tuck mytits in my pants
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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