His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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