When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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