Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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