I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
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I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
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Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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