I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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