pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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