just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
People in love make me want to vomit
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
