I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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