things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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