bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
