i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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