How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize