i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
