we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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