I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
