The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
