not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Banned from zoo.
Again?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
