New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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