32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Come on in and take your pants off
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