i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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