I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
