hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
