turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
