what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
