I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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