I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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