i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
