One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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