can we get nightvision for the apartment?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Randomize
