Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
