This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
