its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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