You're my little dorito
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Less talking, more tequila
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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