life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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