I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..