I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.