thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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