I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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