ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
