I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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