You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
