Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Everyone says I win the strip club
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
