The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
