All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
