what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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